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unsplash-logo Mike Kenneally (post via @btopro on twitter)

good people of the internet who drink coffee. I am about to embark on a delicious journey. A journey of mind altering chemicals pour perfectly at home. A journey, into @DeathWishCoffee

I remember as a child, and seeing the tools of my father or grandfather's workshop and thinking "wow... how did they amass all those tools" and they'd tell me "one at a time son. One at a time" (this is not my reality this was stolen from Gran Torino). Today. I have my toolshed

The difference, is my toolshed is stocked with what assembles the perfect cup of coffee. Let me tell you, how to experience the perfect cup of Saturday afternoon coffee (I should NOT be drinking this this late in the day I'll be up for days).

First. A gallon bottle of distilled water and a packet of @thirdwavewater . Mix the two. Then get clear 20 oz coffee cup and fill it with the water almost to the top. Now get a @BonavitaWorld tea kettle with a digital readout and pour the water into it. Add 1 oz for steam loss

Next take out an @aeropresscom coffee maker and @DeathWishCoffee . Put 5 scoops (small scooper) of death wish into a grinder of your choice (I have a 14$ proctorsillex by @HamiltonBeach). Pulse grinder till beans are just above expresso level grinded.

Start the Bonavita set at 195 degrees and select the hold setting. You want 195 not 195 then cool off to 193 or some other garbage temperature. Using the inverted pour method (described here) pour the beans in and then slowly pour water. Let sit for 1 min

ensure you've filled to the 3.5 line in the aeropress. After 1 min, apply "the btopro method" which is to press coffee to the 3 line (so .5 lines) to obtain suction, then slowly pull up on the brewer pump. (wwwhhaaaaa you say?)

If successful, you will be able to pull air up from the cup through the filter without it moving, keeping a seal with the beans so that nothing leaks through but air pulses through the upper portions of the bean mash. This maximizes flavor... big time.

after plunger reaches the top of the cup, stop and press down to the 1.5 line. Then slowly pull the plunger back up, and add additional water. Continue doing this until you've used all the water in the Bonavita; ensuring that you keep the temp at 195 the whole time

Press till your cup is full; hopefully being able to run out of water and press all the way to the bottom. The last 5% the press can go down will pull extra oils out of the coffee beans (and believe me, with @DeathWishCoffee you'll want the oils). And now, 1 last step (whhaaaa?)

Get ANOTHER cup of similar size (or slightly larger), and slowly pour your full cup of coffee into this one until you hit about 95% empty. Very, slowly pour this last amount and you'll be able to trap any excessive sediment added via "the btopro method" and discard.

And now. You have the ultimate cup of home brewed coffee. Perfect for enjoying while the kids are napping and you write an excessively long series of tweets about how you typically spend 15 minutes making a cup of coffee much to the critique of everyone you know and love. Fin.

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Crazy, abrasive, caring, dreaming the world into existance we need, not the one we have.

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